Dan Van Lambda is a lawn art expert, who is also a sort of prophet for his neighborhood. On Saturday mornings, he’ll ride around on a bike and yell out life advice in order to wake people up. FOr that reason, he is known as Alarm Clock Dan.
His basic philosophical tenant is the idea that if one doesn’t set "alarm clocks" for accomplishing goals, then goals go unaccomplished. And alarm clocks should be something to be avoided, like hiring someone to smash your windows if you don’t write that next chapter of your book. He advertises this philosophy and he can refer you to some good alarm clock services, most of which are run by Mr. Capestrano’s people, like Joe Pasteroni.