Terrence Baqhead (Greaseman)

Terrence Baqhead (Greaseman)
Fig. 1

Terrence Baqhead (pronounced back-head) was a breaking news reporter for The News Nour on CKNWR. On one particular broadcast, he accidentally broke into a secret military station and stumbled across a covey of Glodon. He suffered severe physical and psychological effects from inhaling the gas, and was rescued by government respondents who admitted him to hospital recovery. Terrence, who was a janitorial donor, awoke convinced that he had not survived the breaking news encounter and was now being converted into a cyborg janitor. Regretting his donor decision, he escaped the hospital thinking that he had avoided the final stages of cyborg transformation, but was therefore incomplete and in constant need to consume grease and oil, so that his weary joints and internal plumbing would not fatally fail. For this reason, he consumes large quantities of grease and oil, which only serves to worsen his health and feed the psychosis that he is a partially completed rogue cyborg, which is, of course, untrue. Because of the large quantities of grease he consumes, he is often referred to as The Greaseman.

Terrence attempts to cling to his perceived slim humanity by using large quantities of Evening Creem, which he claims makes him feel more human and is perhaps the only humane thing left in the world. Because of his psychosis, he has an inferiority complex which compels him to spit on things as a way of bringing those things down to his level. For example, if you have a new car, he will most likely spit on it and say, “There. Now we're even.”